Fresno Famous

So. It's September and you're thinking back on your summer, and you're looking forward to the Fall. Wondering if there's going to be anything as exciting as that weekend in Pismo that you took in July.

The trip where you almost fell off of the pier and crashed into the bleak darkness that is the Pacific Ocean. Yeah. Good times.

Well, wonder no more. What we have for you is a million times scarier than getting your brains sucked out of your ear by a previously undiscovered species of jellyfish.

And you don't even have to travel hundreds of miles to check it out. Or get wet. Unless you're all wet with sweat, which can happen.

I'm talking about 5th Realm Haunted House! The scariest haunted house in the Valley. We have 5 indoor haunted attractions, each one more scarier than the next -- which is kind of hard to do, considering you can visit any of the 5 attractions in any order that you'd like! We even have combo tickets so you can enjoy a bunch of them in one fell swoop.

So, what does 5th Realm offer? We have:

• A dark, somber attraction called Necropolis that will play on your fear of the dark while startling you when you least expect it.
• A panic-enducing, heart-pumping attraction called Epidemic that pits you against the unholy masses of zombies that were infected by a deranged scientist. 
• An unguided tour of the worst mental hospital you could imagine -- where the patients are insane and the doctors haven't sterilized their equipment in years. Or wiped the blood off their white coats. It's really a freaky scene in the Insanitarium.
• A backwoods diversion into the stark wilderness, where you happen upon a quaint and unassuming placed called simply The Slaughterhouse, where that guy with the mask and the chainsaw seems to be staring at you off in the distance, the puffs of smoke coming out of his idling chainsaw as he breathes hard.
• A bright and colorful clownhouse, where the walls seem to come alive and the clowns really really REALLY want you to have as much as fun as they do. Too bad their idea of fun is to screw with your depth perception! It's called Delirium in 3D and you will get special glasses to help you through it!

With masterful set design, crazy makeup effects and unsettling music playing throughout each haunt, you'll have a great time this fall, and you might not be scared by jellyfish the next year. No, you'll be too busy checking your closet at night and replacing nightlight bulbs every few weeks.

5th Realm is located just south of Target near the Sierra Vista Mall, where the UA theatres used to be. Last year, it was called Fright Night Scream Park. This year we added a 5th attraction so we're going all out!

If you want to buy tickets ahead of our opening night on Sept. 23, be sure to use the coupon code 5RVIP when you order through our Web site at www.5thRealm.com. See you there!