I'll just start out by admitting that I'm a total "Karate Kid" nerd, so I sprung at the chance to talk to William Zabka (aka Cobra Kai bad-boy Johnny Lawrence), who is coming to town Thursday for the Fresno Grizzlies' Totally Rad '80s Night.

Totally rad, indeed. Zabka and I talked about his involvement in this promotion, why people still love "Karate Kid," what else he's got going on and even more "Karate Kid" stuff. A shorter text version was in the paper today, but you can listen to the full interview right here at The Beehive.

You'll hear some mentions of "Sweep the Leg", which is a 'Karate Kid'-inspired song and video by No More Kings. Zabka starred in and directed the video. It's definitely worth a watch, if you dig the Cobra Kai and the Miyagi Trilogy. Watch it after the jump. But first, download and listen to my interview with Billy Zabka.

BILLY ZABKA INTERVIEW

A couple of things on my mind:

I'VE GOTTA ECHO my colleague Mike Oz and send a big fat So What? out to the folks on Mindhub and Valley Notebook fidgeting over the so-called "brain drain" affecting Fresno. Memo to those who worry that we're losing our "best and brightest" to major urban areas: Ever since young Marcus Tullius Overachiever bailed on his backwater town of Naples to head for the bright lights of Rome, say, it's been a rite of passage for some members of the younger generation to seek out fame and fortune in exotic locales. (Why is it, by the way, that it is always the best and brightest that we always seem to lament/gnash teeth/rent our clothing in a Biblical sense over and not the average, medicore, barely literate types who shove off for Santa Rosa or Topeka who wound our sense of civic pride?)

On Friday, Mike Oz challenged me to a staring contest. (It's this thing that's all over the Internet – you can read about it here).

Mike, who is able to stare into a camera without blinking for 57 seconds, called me out, and thus the Great Beehive Staring Contest of 2008 officially began.

Here is my attempt to out-stare Mighty Mike Oz:

Local news, echoes from the blogosphere and other stuff that's amusing today:

BRAINIAC DUM-DUMS: The Brain Drain Chronicles are big talk on the Fresno Internets these days -- from Mindhub to Famous. Tell me if I'm wrong here, but I thought leaving home, going to college and talking crap about where you used to live was just part of growing up? [Fresno Famous]

SORRY, KOPI: TV stations KMPH and KFRE are part of a bankruptcy filing by parent company Pappas Telecasting Companies. What? You mean five hours of Great Day isn't paying the bills? [The Bee]

I'LL CUT YOU: See the problem with stabbing someone while arguing about who's going to pay the bills is that it just means you're gonna have to pay more. [The Bee]

BLOG CHAMP: Ed holds it down with photos and videos of The Undercurrent's birthday party, which was jam-packed with local music and local bloggers. [estewartartist]

NEW ISH: Another new entry into the Fres-Blog world: Blog Me Down. It's not locally-focused, but it's locally produced and should be of interest to hip-hop fans, skaters and people who like to stare at Kim Kardashian's behind. [Blog Me Down]

DO NOT ASK GIRLS: Fresnocentric almost made me LOL (I don't LOL) with this picture. Brain drain? That's some good writing right there. [Fresnocentric]

Once again, the end of the performing-arts season in Fresno is approaching, and while I will enjoy having more nights and weekends free, I will also miss the frenzy of activity as people have to pick between competing events.

You have one more chance to listen to the Fresno Philharmonic, which concludes its 2007-08 season with one more performance this afternoon (2:30 p.m. Sunday) at the Saroyan Theatre. My colleague George Warren reviews the performance in this morning's Bee.

I went to Saturday night's concert, which I enjoyed. It wasn't my favorite of the season -- I think I'd vote for the January concert featuring pianist Valentina Lisitsa -- and isn't necessarily the event you'd take a first-time Philharmonic-goer to -- but it's a rousing conclusion. Bernstein's "Chichester Psalms" is the kind of choral piece that can grow on you: perhaps not as beefy and rousing as some of the choral spectaculars we've heard from the Philharmonic in the past, but something that builds. The Copland symphony -- with its clear, open tones that somehow evoke the promise and sweep of America -- was also a delight.

On Thursday, I told you all about the online staring contests involving Jessica Alba, Baron Davis and Kev Jumba. They're getting a lot of attention. They've also spawned imitators.

Put The Beehive on that list, because I'm calling out H-Mac in a staring contest. Here's my entry:

While filming, I didn't realize I blinked at the 1:14 mark and kept going. But after reviewing the footage, my official time is 57 seconds. Bring it, McLane! Oh, if you want to challenge us, record yourself and upload to videos.fresnobee.com.

Looking for a cultural event this weekend that won't set you back any dough? Fresno State's Associated Students is presenting a free concert 7 p.m. Sunday (May 11) by Kybele Dance Theater of Los Angeles. Founded in 2003 by Seda Aybay, it's a contemporary dance company comprised of 8 dancers. The athletic, strength and stamina-requiring movement vocabulary is created by fusing together elements of theatrical, modern, and different ethnic dance forms. The pieces are often enhanced with props such as fans, scarves and folding chairs and are performed to music that combines ethnic with modern melodies.

The concert, co-presented by the Fresno State Tap Tones, will take place at the Satellite Student Union. Could be a great Mother's Day finale. (And you don't even have to tell Mom that it's free!)

All week long, I wait for Thursday night. Not only is it one of the best nights for going out, it is one superb T.V. night, with "Lost," "Grey's Anatomy" and "The Office" all taking up space on my DVR.

If you watched "Lost" and "The Office" last night, you may have noticed a particular word popping up on both shows, and that word rhymes with "witch." Okay, fine – the word is "bitch." (This isn't your mother's Internet!)

So what I want to know is, who made better use of the word?

Ben from "Lost": "Fate is a fickle bitch."
Creed from "The Office": "We're gonna ditch this bitch."

I think you know my vote.

Everyone's got to call in sick once in a while. But some jobs are hard to fill. How do you replace an orchestra conductor on short notice?

You scramble.

That's what the BBC National Orchestra of Wales did recently when officials called Fresno Philharmonic music director Theodore Kuchar in a panic and told him conductor Walter Weller was ill. They wanted to keep the program as printed and asked Kuchar to conduct Josef Suk’s Asrael Symphony at that weekend's concerts. A broadcast recording of the symphony, which Kuchar had conducted in Prague only a few months before, had circulated through Europe and caught the attention of the Welsh orchestra. He was the only one who could do it, they said.

(By the way, a healthy Kuchar is in Fresno this weekend for the final concert of the Philharmonic's 2007-08 season, which you can read about in Friday's 7 section.)

Welcome to another edition of Post No Bills, your flier gallery of what's going on in Fresno, compiled exclusively by FresnoBeehive.com.

Below you'll find the largest collection of Fresno concert, club and event fliers anywhere on the Web. It's our way of proving every week that anybody who says there's nothing to do in Fresno is either crazy or lazy.

As always, we welcome contributions bands, artists, venues, promoters and regular joes. Send flier links to mosegueda@fresnobee.com.

At only 4 months old, Harlow Madden, child of the once again rapidly-shrinking Nicole Richie and musician Joel Madden, already knows what's up.

I've never been jealous of an infant before, but I'm admitting it today: this baby can say more with one look than I can in an entire blog post.

Bloody right, kid. The rest of us have been thinking the same thing about this nonsense for a while now.

[Photo: Harper's Bazaar]

I'm a good son. I try to be, at least. It almost being Mother's Day and all, I was putting in some long-distance work this week to plan some fun for my mama back home in the Bay Area.

Mom wanted to go to one of those Mother's Day brunches at a hotel, so I thought of a hotel in our area that's part of a large chain. I remember going there for Mother's Day brunch once when I was like 12. Moms like to remember their kids when they were actually kids, so I figured this was perfect.

I called the hotel in question the other night. I didn't figure this would be a big deal. In fact, I threw some dinner in the oven and fired up Mario Kart in the Wii, thinking no way making a reservation would interfere.

I said it last week, and I'm saying it again: whenever the action of "The Office" ventures outside of Dunder Mifflin, the show suuuuuucks.

Case in point? Last night's episode "Job Fair." If it wasn't for Jim Halpert looking all cute in his golf hat, I would have switched over to C-SPAN, or something equally lively. There was just one highlight from the episode, and it was this:

Angela: Extension 128.
Creed: Hiya, Pumpkin, it's Creed. Say, we're gonna ditch this bitch. Are you in?
Angela: No.
Creed: Are you out? Pumpkin's out. Let's go, gang!

Classic.

Did you know that staring contests are like the coolest things on the Internets? Yeah, I know, the thumb-wrestling people are pretty bummed. But check it, it all started when Golden State Warriors basketball star Baron Davis challenged some Interweb dude named Kev Jumba to a staring contest. This video pretty much sums it up:

If you didn't watch because you're just waiting for the Jessica Alba part -- Jumba then issued a challenge to Alba. Apparently aside from being super hot and super pregnant, Jessica is also a super starer, as you can see in this video:

I had a blast last October when '60s Lemoore rockers The Brymers played their reunion show at a packed Hanford Civic Auditorium. The Brymers were among the hundreds of teen garage bands around the country in the mid-'60s who released one or two singles locally, had a big following in and around their region, and then disappeared -- only to be resurrected years later by zealous record collectors looking for great, raw, obscure rock'n'roll.

These days, high-profile garage festivals such as Cavestomp! in New York (which has rounded up ? and the Mysterians, The Remains, The Monks, The Standells, Richard & the Young Lions, The Chocolate Watchband and The Sonics) are populated by music fanatics and affected hipsters from around the world, many of whom were too young to have seen these bands in their day. However, this Brymers show was much more like what I imagined a mid-'60s show would have been -- lots of friends hanging out in a big room, socializing and dancing to good tunes. (Except that most of the people were much grayer and/or balder, teen dances didn't sell beer, and there were way too many Hawaiian shirts instead of the long-lost groovy threads of 1966.) It was a purely local experience, just as it was in '66, and a hell of a lot of fun.

So anyway, I had so much fun with your local garage legends that I thought I'd return the favor and tell y'all about a recent compilation of garage legends from my old part of the world.

Anytime I see "hip-hop" in a headline in The Bee's local section, you best believe I'm reading. Such was the case today, with "Hip-hop video played in pot trial."

Here are the basics: Two guys are up on federal drug charges involving a medical marijuana dispensary they ran in Modesto. In Wednesday's portion of the trial, happening at U.S. District Court in Fresno, prosecutors played a rap video from defendant Luke Scarmazzo. In the video, Scarmazzo flips off the camera and says some bad words directed at The Feds.

Much like I had to peep the story after reading headline, once I read the story, I had to find the video. I learned that dude raps under the name Kraz and the video in question -- "Business Man" -- depicts him in a courthouse. I learned that actual pictures like the one above are on his MySpace page. I learned he's been on "60 Minutes" to talk medical marijuana. Oh, and I learned that he's also one of worst rappers I've heard.

Seriously, folks, I think this guy is worse than K-Fed. In fact, I'm putting this up to a vote. Who's worse? Kraz or K-Fed? Check the videos after the jump, then leave a comment with your vote.

So, Donald, you're all done with your theater and arts reviews for the week. Where to now?

I'm going back to "Urinetown." Tonight, in fact.

I don't often make repeat visits to local theater productions, especially more than one time within a span of less than a week, but there are certain shows (especially well-loved musicals) for which I'll make an exception. And with a limited-run production such as Fresno State's "Urinetown," you can't dawdle. The university stages a musical just once every two years, so it's a special event. (You can check out my review here along with reader comments.)

Why go again? There's so much to take in the first time in a show such as this: the costumes, the lighting, the musical nuances, the special little touches. Also, I'm wishing pretty strongly that the sound design, which was the only major flaw on opening night, has gotten better. Wish me (and all those hard-working students and community members at Fresno State) luck. "Urinetown" plays just three more performances: 8 p.m. Thursday, Friday and Saturday. If you've got a musical-theater bone in your body, you won't want to miss it.

John Mayer sometimes has a hard time coming to terms with the fact that he's kinda douchey. As do we all.

However, he was good enough to send up his own rep in this high-larious Funny or Die video about what it takes to write a hit song. Be forewarned, though – BAD yet hilarious LANGUAGE ahead:

Makin' Music with John Mayer on FunnyOrDie.com

It's T minus 14 days until the release of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. If I wasn't already ridiculously excited about the movie, then this can of Dr. Pepper would have totally sealed the deal:

"With his fist!" Have you ever seen a more awesome promotion on a can of soda in your whole life? I don't even drink Dr. Pepper, but I had to have this.

My hat's off to you, marketing geniuses. Nicely played.

News you should know, echoes from the blogsphere and so on:

HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?: The biggest difference between the Fresno sports media and the Boston sports media? In Boston, there are numerous blogs watching your every move. In Fresno, there's only "Famous Guest." Right, Heidi? [Deadspin]

OOPS: Ray Appleton's motorcycle was seized after he was pulled over and found to be riding without a license. "I just plain dropped the load in my aging brain cells," Appleton said. Uhhh ... that's what she said? No? OK, I have no clue what he's talking about. [The Bee]

NEW LOOK: The Fresnan got the scoop on the new-look Fresno Famous, which launched today. What do you think of the re-design? [The Fresnan]

BLOG WAR: Famous does have a profile today of Rob DeFrees, protector of Calaveras Street. The Bee's Bill McEwen writes today about DeFrees as well. I say one-on-one, on Calaveras Street -- loser shaves his head.

NEED INPUT: The recently launched Valley Notebook has been telling personal stories of the Valley's brain drain in its "Brain Drain Chronicles" series. I can't wait for Heidi, 26, TV reporter. [Valley Notebook]