A Review Your Car Will Love
January 8, 2006
I'm not a talented enough writer to make a "straight review" entertaining. Besides, I suspect not everybody in Fresno could use information like what I think about Korn's latest album (pretty damn good by the way). But, every Fresnan does use intersections, right?
Recently, a major Fresno intersection got a face lift: SHAW AND WEST. Yes, it's a review of a renovated Fresno intersection it's weird, I know, just go with me on this one.
FROM SINGLE TO DOUBLE
Ohh yea, we have double the turn lanes now. That doubles the chances for me to see a hot girl in the car next to me, waiting to turn. Oh crap, she saw me staring, she's obviously not interested. Greaat, she's going into Taco Bell too - Awkwarrrrrrd.
THAT ONE GUY'S BENCH MOVED
You've seen the poor dude. He's the homeless man (I've always assumed he is anyway) that practically owns the benches next to the Chevron. He's got the huge feet, leaves trash everywhere, smokes like a diesel truck and he talks to you whether you (or he) knows it or not. His bench (otherwise known as a FAX bus stop) got moved down a couple hundred feet. I'd ask him what he thinks but I've always been a little scared of the guy I suck, I know.
NICE BLINKER
Look at this, dedicated right-turn lanes - very nice. I hate it when you're coming up on an intersection without one, and you want to turn right but the guy in front of you is going straight, which means you're not moving till the light is green. You could have had an open lane to turn right on red with, had he only used the open lane to his left - but heee's an asshead.
THERE'S OTHER STUFF TOO
There are new medians with red-brick instead of 70's style concrete (I'm not that sure what 70's concrete means either). Every corner now has a nice new flower bed that will go unattended and die in a few weeks. I don't want to forget the corner sidewalk ramps and the big new silver traffic lights that have a light for every lane yea, I've got nothin' on that stuff.
Come back next time when I review more inane stuff, like Rick Bentley's goatee and January Tule Fog.
Michael
Wow, thanks Mike for filling us in. I never would have known. I'll be waving too the next time I see him.
Thanks Mike
I knew my ingnorance of Michael (cool, now I know his name) would get exposed by using him for the article - I'm honestly glad to be set straight. I couldn't do a story about Shaw and West without including him but I didn't know much about him.
I'll be waving next time I see him.
Shaw and West
Funny review on Shaw and West. However, I need to set something straight.
The mentally ill man who you think is homeless and is responsible for leaving trash at the bus stop at Shaw and West is not homeless. He lives in the neighborhood nearby. My neighborhood. His name is Michael. Michael is also not the person leaving trash all over the bus stop. Michael never arrives carrying anything to the bus stop, but sometimes is successful having a cigarette given to him. So, maybe he does litter his cigarettes.
The persons responsible for the litter are the bus riders who think its ok to Trash Fresno with their fast food wrappers and big gulp cups.
I would appreciate it if those folks would wake up and realize the concept of other people and the likelihood that the neighbors who live in the area and patronize the businesses do not like to have trash spewed across the landscape.
By the way, wave to Michael when he waves to you. That's not too difficult.
A Review...
I've always wondered about that homeless man too. Like what is the deal with his feet? Think of all the calluses he must have from walking around barefoot all day. Anyway, I found your review, quite refreshing and I'm looking forward to the next one.
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