--Jarah thanks.

(I've tried to respond to your inital posting about six times, it won't let me on the string... oh well.)

-Maria (the writer,) turned out to be a very cool lady, and it was great to talk to her. (It actually was a three hour interview.)

Having read 'the comment,' and having discussed the article on the phone,
-I did write to her about it, as it seemed to come across a bit on the 'neg.' side.

True:
-I moved out here to marry an old friend who (relationship wise,) evaporated in a few weeks.
-I also had my truck totaled (head smashed back window, a lot of physical therapy, etc.)
-stuff stolen from the truck twice, (including a ton of tools,)
-and hand surgery from a work injury, (not a lot of physical therapy, it just realllllly hurt.)
(-all within two months of arriving in Fresburg.)
---So yeah,'here' was a bit of a blast furnace to walk through at first, and I thought about heading back East, but I decided to stick it out and see what happened.

I found a pretty good church, have made some great friends, a couple of decent and sincere enemies,
-totally love the creativity of the town,
-have started my own business,
-(I do have a great landlord, though the neighborhood is having, um, adolescent pharmaceutical identity problems...) —not his fault.

---I've found most of what I came here for -has been given me in other ways,

(Okay, initial reason of marrying 'true love of life,' turned out to be complete fiction (this sucks.)

But, despite the heat, (well, and the bigotry,) I have found that Fresno is pretty okay, and has it's definite upside,
--and that life in general is for not just surviving, but living,
(---That's what I meant about 'Paradise being elusive,' you have to refocus and let what is there reveal, not demand to see what you want to see.)
-The loose quote actually comes from some threads back and forth between Peterson, myself, and the guy from New England, (Think AntiMusic was in there too..) ---and is from 'Last Resort,' off of Hotel California.

If I did have a summation, this would be it.
(I sent it in, but it didn't make the editorial cut, (it was Friday and she probably had headed home.)

" …California will break your heart.
It has to.
You cannot live here, go through everyday life, and remain closed and untouchable, the beauty intermixed with the harsh reality has it's way with you, -to begin to understand it, means that things inside get broken.

Moving here, even for a love that was unanswered, still was magnificent.
It doesn't make it any less painful,
-but if you really are going to become anything in life, you have to be willing to reach and take a chance, -knowing that you may not make it, and fall short of the other side.

The beauty is in the attempt, and how freeing it is.
You say, 'I am going to do this, no matter what happens, and I need to put myself completely into this, and just hope.

When you do that, you put your faith, -not in the outcome,
-but in the one who gives you such a love, such desire, and the ability to make the attempt.

That's why I love it here, and that's why 'here' could have been anywhere, -it just happened to be California, where the woman who wanted me, happens to live.

-It's better to try and fail, than to sit and wish you had done something.
-and yes, I'm still shy to ask someone to dance…."

-----So, again, thanks for the connection, and as always, thanks for being the head lifeguard of 'Happy Camp Fresburg Fabulous.'

(…here, have a frog…)

(…nice boardwork with Rademacher, by the way.)