I went to 5 shows, of which I saw 4 of them alone. I'm not going to let a little thing called "having no friends" stop me from enjoying my life...

20 centimetros, thursday night: i got to this movie early and i forgot that they yak for like 15 minutes promoting their sponsors, talking about other movies, talk about the after party (which was at the red lantern that night...i drove by their at around 1am and it was quite empty....too bad, but it was a nice attempt) and teasing the audience with sexual inneuendo (mr.carroll is just a cocktease), but at last, the movie began. its a movie from spain, so they some kind of lispy spanish that they are speaking. its about a narcoleptic pre-op transexual man named marieta who's a hooker in madrid that one day dreams of having a "huge pussy." in the meantime, marieta is stuck with a 20 centimeter penis (which is 7.87 inches for you size queens out there). there wasnt much of a story in this movie, but it was quite entertaining when marieta would fall asleep and dream up these song and dance numbers. they had spanish, french and some english ones too. they had said that there was a madonna song, but i didnt know which one (the only one i recognized was an ani defranco song, but it had a different chorus, so now im not sure if she sang it or not). but i guess she meets this really hot guy who likes her just the way she is. there was some other stories going on that are forgettable. It was all just fluff, but i liked it...

eating out 2: sloppy seconds, friday night: this was the only movie where i had someone with me (this girl from work). i had seen the first movie and i had some problem with it, but i think i was the one the problem, just trying to hate the movie to be cool or something. we got gotten there just as it was about to begin (missing all the chatter...thank god). it was basically about these 4 horny people who were manipulating this bi-curious guy into sleeping with them....it was quite funny. at the moment, the thing that really sticks out of my mind was when that guy from american idol went down on a girl unwillingly and then takes a hair out of his mouth. its gross yes, but anyone who's been on the giving or recieving end of oral sex knows that its just happens and you live with it. after the movie, i went to deja vu and got in for free (gotta love those free festival passes) and waited about 30 minutes for a drink. i hadnt been to deja in a year, so it was different to be around so many gay people. on the way out of the club, there was a group of black people standing outside and they were looking at my friend and grabbed her, trying to hit on her. another one said "if you're with him, you're with me." my friend is a lesbian, so she wasnt down for it, but as we walked away, they kept calling her back, wanting a piece of her. i find that strange. what were straight black men doing outside of a gay nightclub?

broken sky, saturday night: before the movie, they had a filmmakers reception at veni's. since i had a director's club pass, i could go in and eat the food and booze in the patio. seeing that i was alone, i didnt stay for long, because those "power gays" are quite intimidating. You know, with their nice clothes and cute faces. i go inside and sit at the bar, drinking a smirnoff, just killing time. once i saw mr. carroll walk by and out the door, i guess that means that the movie was going to start. NOW, I HEARD THAT ONE OF THE GUYS ON THE FESTIVAL COMMITTEE SAID IT WAS THE BEST MOVIE HE HAD EVER SEEN. So i thought this was going to be really good. sadly, that wasnt the case. they kind of took the approach of "actions speak louder than words." i didnt find that much of anything going on witht the 2 main characters though other than groping each other everywhere. it was like the first 20 minutes of brokeback mountain or lost in translation, only stretched out to 140 minutes. it never really picked up and you kind of had to interject what kind of feeling the characters might have because all you can really go on was facial and body expressions. maybe if i have or had a boyfriend, maybe i would have a better understanding, but that just doesnt say enough for me. there was a narrator who would try to fill in blanks, but it didnt really help me. maybe it's just a matter of taste level perhaps. Its like some people see modern art as just "crazy crap on the wall." maybe im just not ready for their vision. but i did see quite a few people walk out from that movie. why didn't i leave, you ask? i had nothing better to do.

meth, sunday afternoon: i had seen the director of this documentary on gay.com chat a couple years ago and chatted with him about the movie he was making. it wasnt a particularly a long conversation because he was cute and i was ugly (which doesnt work in the gay world), but i added myself to his mailing list so i could get updates on this movie, and maybe it would play in fresno someday....and here it was. the movie revolved around a group of gay guys who were addicted to meth, had some risky sex and got HIV and now are recovering or clean. there was one guy who didnt want to quit and one guy who sold it who thought he was happy but really wasnt. ive never done meth, so i wouldnt really know who it feels, but my brother and one guy i used to know did it quite heavily. the movie had a lot of similarities to the behaviors of my brother and friend (the paranoia, the contradictions, having porn running all day long). after the movie, people were allowed to ask questions to the director. one person asked how they were picked. he answered that he just looked at all of the submissions he had gotten and picked according to race and age. thats when i thought to myself: EVERYBODY IN THE MOVIE WAS WHITE. now, i dont have a problem with white person or anything, its just that where were the people of color? it may be a stupid question to ask and i probably should think about what exactly my problem with it is, but i really wanted to ask that. after the movie, i wrote an e-mail to him saying that i enjoyed the movie (its been 4 days later and there was no reply...once again, its the cute/ugly thing).

Boy Culture, Sunday Night: I wasnt planning on seeing this movie but since i had nothing to do, i just decided to go. when i got there, someone had taken MY SEAT (i always sat in the very back row, next to the restroom), so i had to sit somewhere in front. Up on the screen they had mr. carroll's head (i guess they have a live feed into the project now) and man, he looks fatter. to me, he's always looked kinda husky in pictures, but he's skinny in real life. he was talking about some award for mr. q allan broka, the guy who wrote "eating out" and directed "boy culture" and gave him some lifetime achievement award or whatever. it was quite the kodak moment. Eventually, the movie begins. Its based on some book about a guy who's an escort named "X" (yes, just one letter) and has this black guy who he wants to sleep with. there was also the storyline of a new client who wont give it up until "x" desires him. mind you, the man is about 80 years old while "x" is 25. that kind of love affair belongs on jerry springer, even tyra if you can handle that crazy ho. long story short, i liked it. after the movie, they had a little party in the "reel pride pavilion" behind the theater where they were to announce the festival winners. i was there for just a second (too many "power gays" there), chomped on a cookie and left....

and that was it.