Fresno Famous

It is time to come home, Kevin. Come home to Fresno, Kevin. Yes, we called you Kevin because we know you've never liked K-Fed. We understand it offends you. Fresno won't call you by it anymore.

Come home Kevin.

We forgive you. Forgive you for leaving Fresno and disrespecting it every chance you got. We understand. Every Fresno native does it when they first leave. It's just something that is done.

Come home Kevin.

You tried Kevin. You left the small pond for the big one. You did, you tried. Bless your little wigger-baby-making heart, you tried. You even got the hottest country girl since Gilligan Island's Mary Ann. It is over now.

Come home Kevin.

It will be fun. You'll see. All of Fresno's nightlife will be yours. The Silver Dollar, Elbow Room, Livingstones, Dirty Olive, World Sports, you will never need to buy yourself a beer ever again. Fresnan's just won't let you. We're like that.

Come home Kevin.

You ARE Fresno Famous Kevin. You need to be on the valley's floor. You need Fresno right now.

Kevin. Come home.