Fresno Famous

Is this what the depths of postmodernism looks like?

At Target.com, one of the top men's halloween costumes this year is a $19.99 Magnum, P.I. outfit, complete with Aloha shirt and bushy mustache. Imagine the surprise when you encounter another mass-market-retailed member of Devo, the 1980's new-wave band, in a yellow radiation suit and red step hat, at the company party. Don't be deceived by the plethora of princess costumes- what little girls really want this year is the American Idol package, which isn't a costume so much as a plastic microphone.

Still unconvinced that we've gone as far as postmodernism can take us? Then consider the $39.99 "Trailer Park King" costume. Included in the white trash garb is a trucker hat, a knit mechanic's jumpsuit, a wife beater tank, and plastic beer belly. Now imagine a working-class Target shopper shelling out 40 bucks to ostensibly be himself for halloween. It's enough to make one run for the wholesome goodness of a pumpkin patch, of which, thankfully, there are many. Relish in the ernest fantasty of Halloween at these local events.

For kids

While unlikely to get the lazy parents out of doing the neighborhood trick-or-treating, these kid-friendly events ensure that American Idol microphone will be used more than once. The 11th Annual Haunt in the Park opens Thursday, October 20th and runs this weekend and next. Roeding Park's Storyland and Playland will both be dressed up for Halloween with spooky attractions for kids 14 and under. Festivities run from 6pm to 10pm; $10 adults, $8 children. This Saturday offers a double header at the park, when the Chaffee Zoo opens for its annual ZooBoo. The event offers trick-or-treating for kids, carnival games, and a "Haunted Jungle" haunted house. ZooBoo starts at 5pm through 8pm. Tickets are $8 - $12, and must be purchased separately from the Haunt in the Park.

For everyone

Pumpkins! Fun to carve, fun to eat, fun to pick. Sure you could pick up a nice squash at any corner pumpkin stand, but why not take a visit to a farm? Simonian Farms' Pumpkin Patch in southeast Fresno is open daily with the "valley's largest" pumpkin selection. There's a haunted caboose and a corn maze for the kids, plus free hayrides. The farm is open from 8am to 6:30pm daily through Halloween.

October may mean Halloween for us humans, but for tarantulas October means love. Yes, it's tarantula mating season, and to celebrate Coarsegold is throwing a Tarantula Festival. These "eight-legged Romeos" vibrate outside the burrows of females hoping to get some and survive the turbulent courtship process. On Saturday October 29th, the festival will host a poem contest, dancing tarantulas, and a tarantula race. The festival starts at 11am and ends at 3:30pm; the races start at 2:30pm.

If tarantula sex isn't your thing, Hobbs Grove offers a more traditional spooky experience. It's the biggest Halloween attraction in the Valley, with 36 acres of Halloween amusement. Wonder around the haunted forrest or the haunted house, take a ride on the haunted hayride, and nibble on some haunted concessions. Hobb's Grove is open every night at 5:30pm. Tickets are $8.50 to $11 per attraction.

For party people

Start the Halloween weekend off with an evening at Zapp's Park. Friday, October 28th, Fresno punk band It'll Grow Back will celebrate the release of their new EP "Seduce and Destroy" with a costume fiasco. They've promised the best costume wins a free CD, the worst "goes home alone." With SparkleJet. There's a $3 cover and show starts at 9:30pm.

Saturday night get really freaky with the Fresno Goth Halloween Scream at Jon Jon's. This all ages Halloween spooktacular features the best in dark 80's, industrial, and goth tunes, with CD giveaways and costume prizes. Do not attend a Fresno Goth event in a Target-purchased costume. Tickets are $7 advanced purchase, available at Valentino's.

Fresno's longest-running house party wouldn't miss the chance to celebrate Halloween the right way. Focus welcomes back "ninja of funk" Rick Preston for a costumed Halloween party on Sunday, October 30th. Cover is $10 at the door.

The Tower District Halloween bash is back! On October 31st the parking lot behind the Tower Theater turns into a Halloween playground. Sippyy and Old Guzzler will entertain the crowd, while fabulous prizes are bestowed on the best costumes. Lots of treats for everyone, and a haunted beer garden for the over 21 crowd. The party starts at 6pm. Tickets are $10 for those in costume, $15 for party poopers.

More details for featured events are on the calendar.